


Blame It On The Big Guy

by ChibiYoda



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Science Bros, This Is My Ship and It Has Wrecked Me, pre-Science Boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-17 02:52:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2294213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiYoda/pseuds/ChibiYoda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by this prompt on Avengerkink:</p><p>"Bruce/Tony or gen + team crack: "it keeps the Hulk calm"</p><p>(Anonymous)</p><p>I read in a fic (I don't remember which one!) a line that was for some reason so hilarious it wouldn't leave me alone.</p><p>"I watch soap operas sometimes. It keeps the Hulk calm."</p><p>Right away I thought "oh Bruce you little liar!" So can I please get fic of Bruce indulging all of his weird/unusual habits and using "it keeps the Hulk calm" as an excuse?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blame It On The Big Guy

Tony strolled into the living room, finding Bruce sprawled on the couch watching tv.

"...What's gonna work? Teamwork!..."

He glanced at the screen to see a guinea pig, a duckling and a turtle attempting to rescue a baby penguin stranded on a chunk of ice. He turned his attention to Bruce. " 'The hell is this?", a befuddled look on his face.

"It's called Wonder Pets. Hulk seems to like it, so once in a while I'll watch an episode...to entertain him."

"You're joking." Tony replied flatly.

Bruce shrugged. "Could be worse."

Tony scooted Bruce's feet off of the couch, and joined him for the remainder of the show. He supposed it was kinda cute.

 

So...

During a lull in their next mission, Tony flipped up the faceplate on his helmet, and motioned to the Hulk. "What's gonna work?" he shouted.

Hulk stared at him.

"Teamwork! Right buddy?", and he gave the green behemoth the thumbs-up.

Hulk looked bewildered - who knew that was even possible - gave a snort, and lumbered off to find something to smash.

 

***

Natasha stopped in to Bruce's lab to return a book she'd borrowed. Bruce was startled by her sudden appearance, and swiveled his chair toward her as a huge bubble he'd blown popped onto his face. He peeled off the sticky mess, and shoved it back into his mouth.

"You still have a little..." Natasha pointed to his nose. "Bubble gum?" she arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Hulk is amused by the bubbles, so, you know." Bruce replied, rubbing his nose.

"I see." was all she said in return.

 

So...

After a training exercise, Natasha marched up to the Hulk. She held out a chunk of bright pink bubble gum. "Want some gum?" she asked, while chewing on a piece of her own.

Hulk angled his head to the side and stared down at her. "Good to eat?"

"No, not eat, just chew...and blow bubbles. Like Banner does." She then demonstrated with a large bubble.

Hulk seemed to ponder this for a moment, then abruptly turned and decided to go see what Metal Man was up to.

 

***

"Oww, geez!" Tony exclaimed.

"You ok?" Bruce asked from across the lab.

"I got a blueprint cut." Tony replied, aggravated.

"Ahh." Bruce wrinkled his nose in response, then went back to what he was doing.

"It's worse than a regular old paper cut. It's thicker, and this one's deep." Tony was perplexed as to why Bruce didn't seem to understand the severity of his predicament.

"Would you like a band-aid?" Bruce was becoming quite proficient in appeasing the other man.

Tony huffed. "Well, yeah. I don't wanna keep hitting it on stuff." He stuck his finger in his mouth and sucked on it.

Bruce fished out a band-aid from a box in his desk, unwrapping it along the way as he headed over to Tony. "Let me see."

Tony stuck out his finger, and Bruce applied the covering.

"Seriously?" Tony remarked incredulously. It was a multi-colored Hello Kitty band-aid.

"What?" Bruce started. "I spent a little time in Japan, and the other guy took a liking to her."

 

So...

When Tony took Hulk out to the desert for some play time, he brought along one of the band-aids, and stuck it on the back of a big green hand.

Hulk promptly peeled it off, and flung it into the sand. "Hulk no like pink kitty!"

Tony had the distinct feeling that he was being bullshitted.

 

Later that evening...

"Have you seen the fuzzy doggie slippers?" Clint asked.

"What about the thing with peanut butter and jelly?" Natasha added.

Tony and Clint gave her the universal look of '...huh?'.

She continued. "He says that Hulk doesn't like peanut butter and jelly mixed together. It has to be either a peanut butter sandwich, or a jelly sandwich."

"Sacrilege!" Tony cried. "As is Hulk's supposed fascination with the stylings of ABBA."

Clint shook his head in disbelief. "He's been pulling our chain."

 

***

"You don't have to cook for me, you know." Tony said it because it was the right thing to say, though secretly he looked forward to it. It had become a frequent occurrence in the month or so that Bruce had been living in the tower.

"I have to cook for myself anyway, so it's no trouble." Bruce was unaware that Tony enjoyed the gesture as much as he enjoyed doing it for him.

Tony came up behind Bruce and quickly stuck the tip of his finger into the pot of sauce that Bruce was stirring. "We could always order takeout."

"Too much takeout is no good for you." Bruce chastised, as he playfully slapped Tony's hand away.

"Maybe so." Tony conceded, as he leaned on the counter next to the stove. "So...does the Hulk like spaghetti?"

It seemed that Tony's enthrallment with the Hulk had even branched out into his eating habits, Bruce thought. "I don't think he has an opinion on it either way."

"Really." Tony feigned shock. "That's odd. He seems to have a lot of very specific likes and dislikes." He crossed his arms over his chest. "The thing I can't figure out is, when I talk to him about such things, he acts as if I'm spewing nonsense at him." He donned his best look of puzzlement.

Bruce turned to Tony. "You've talked to him?" He was both surprised and apprehensive at the revelation.

"Granted, Big Green isn't the most verbose creature on the planet, but he can certainly get his point across. Seems you've been mistaken about quite a few of the things you've attributed to him. I would think you'd know him a little better by now." Tony grinned innocently as Bruce began to blush. He loved playing with him, especially when he could get Bruce's nauseatingly complete composure to crack just a little. He went on. "Look Bruce, we all have our weird little habits, and things we like. No need to be ashamed. You're among friends now. You can be yourself."

Bruce cocked his head. "And you won't tease me mercilessly?"

"Oh I never said anything about that." Tony grinned.

 

Both of them got a good laugh out of it. And maybe today was the day that Bruce truly began to feel at home.

**Author's Note:**

> Because sometimes adults watch shows like Wonder Pets because they're adorable, and they make you happy. Right?
> 
> Written in September 2013


End file.
